#im able to accurately guess the spelling of shit ok
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snekdood · 1 year ago
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my bf told me it was “might as well” not minus well but idc bc my version is quicker and u already know what im saying so who care
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pesterloglog · 11 months ago
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Jade Harley, Roxy Lalonde
Act 6, page 6291-6297
JADE: excuse me but did you just "laugh your ass off" at me under your breath
ROXY: ummm
ROXY: yea
ROXY: maybe
JADE: :|
JADE: i fail to see what is so amusing
ROXY: u do
ROXY: seriously?
JADE: .....
JADE: ok i guess the situation is a little funny because of this absurd folder
JADE: and the fact that i woofed at you probably didnt help either
JADE: but im not here to share a good laugh over the old ladys sense of design or her penchant for scrapbooking!
JADE: i am here to make sure that you do as youre told
ROXY: ugh
JADE: now take the file and review your assignment
ROXY: i already looked at it
ROXY: its dumb and impossible and i aint cooperating w her regardless!
JADE: yes you will
ROXY: can we change the subject
JADE: no
ROXY: arent you jakes grandma
JADE: thats what he told me when we were pen pals
JADE: but i think its more accurate to say im his alternate universe biological daughter
ROXY: oh
ROXY: that clears that up then
JADE: yes, it does :p
JADE: now take the damn folder
ROXY: so alt grannydaughter english
ROXY: whyre u part dog + evil lookin
JADE: DO NOT CALL ME THAT!!!
ROXY: what
JADE: my surname is harley not english
JADE: but you may refer to me as jade, or ma'am if you are feeling especially nervous and deferential
JADE: which as it turns out is the way you should be feeling about me, ALWAYS >:B
ROXY: LOL!!!
JADE: lol WHAT
ROXY: jade i am in no way buying that ur normally this pompous and tyrannical
ROXY: the shtick rly doesnt suit you its so obvious
ROXY: why you doin the batterhags tacky bidding anyway
ROXY: she got you under an xtra terrestrial fish spell or
JADE: SILENCE!!!!!!
ROXY: OOF!
JADE: open the file
ROXY: mrphmmphumph
JADE: OPEN IT!
ROXY: fine :(
ROXY: ok i opened it
ROXY: hey look its the same shit as before
ROXY: im supposed to make this weird knobbly spike ball appear out of nothin
JADE: yes
ROXY: ok got it
ROXY: let me give it a shot then
ROXY: ...
ROXY: welp still impossible
ROXY: what now maam??
JADE: it is not impossible
ROXY: is 2
JADE: you are the rogue of void
JADE: dont you know what that means?
ROXY: i dunno
ROXY: means i can turn invisible and stuff?
ROXY: like the blonde in that crappy superhero quartet
JADE: it means a lot more than that
JADE: your true powers are more impressive than those of anyone else in your crappy quartet
JADE: in fact i would say they are almost as cool as mine >:)
ROXY: not sure the ability to make weird spikeballs outta nothin is all that cool tbh
JADE: not just spikeballs!
JADE: imagine that your title is roughly synonymous with "one who steals nothing"
JADE: what do you think it means to be able to steal nothing?
ROXY: it means
ROXY: im like a shitty cat burglar who sucks at her job?
JADE: WRONG
JADE: it means just the opposite
JADE: it means you can steal the essence of nothingness from something
JADE: you can rob nothingness from an idea if you put your mind to it
JADE: effectively allowing you to conjure virtually anything out of thin air
ROXY: omg
ROXY: u cant be serious
ROXY: that is way too much superpower 4 a dork like me 2 have
JADE: grrrrr...
ROXY: oh no
ROXY: pls dont growl @ me dogjade
ROXY: is legit frightening :(
JADE: im sorry, but your remarks of self deprecation made me very angry
JADE: once i was even more of a dork than you
JADE: but now i am one of the most powerful beings who has ever existed
JADE: i dont want to hear any whining about what you think you cant do
JADE: you are hereby under strict orders from myself and her condescension to "clam up" and conjure that orb, do you understand?
ROXY: so im just supposed to
ROXY: sit here and think about this ugly ball
ROXY: and twiddle my fingers or somethin
ROXY: ?
JADE: you tell me
JADE: space is my racket, not void
ROXY: maybe it would help if i knew what the dang thing WAS
ROXY: how am i supposed to steal the nonexistence from a concept when the concept only exists in my mind as "ugly ball"
JADE: its called the matriorb
JADE: it is the key to resurrecting the troll race
JADE: once you create it the empress will hatch it on an uninhabited planet located beyond the reach of her cruel employer
JADE: there her people will have another chance to thrive without the ever looming threat of extinction that comes with his influence
JADE: so you see roxy, there is nothing noble about refusing to help
JADE: once an entire alien race went extinct because of a terrible monster, and you can help give them a second chance
JADE: dont you want that?
ROXY: um
ROXY: in theory sure i guess
ROXY: but ur basically asking me to bring a lot of people back to life so they can be slaves to that witch
ROXY: u want me to help make all these fresh new trolls but then just turn em over to her? like here you go have fun SNORKELBITCH MEGAHITLER
ROXY: i do not actually think i wanna do that??
JADE: yes fair enough, but heres the other thing...
JADE: if you dont i am going to kill you
ROXY: oh noes
JADE: oh yesses!
JADE: a literal plurality of yesses
JADE: seeing as you are a god tier it is very likely you will come back to life
JADE: so i can just keep killing you over and over a different way each time
JADE: maybe i will disembowel you a few times
JADE: i will not even need to use my sharp doggy teeth!
JADE: i will just snap my fingers and your delicious guts will teleport outside your body
ROXY: ew!
JADE: no way more like yum
JADE: i will just keep on killing you again and again
JADE: until you finally get tired of dying and follow your orders
ROXY: maaan
ROXY: evil jade is sucky jade
JADE: i believe you will find i am the suckiest jade there is
JADE: now we are going to be here in this cell for as long as it takes
JADE: i am not going anywhere until you try doing your voidey thing and make something appear
JADE: is that understood?
ROXY: blehhhh
ROXY: fine
ROXY: why u gotta be so awful jade
ROXY: really putting a cramp on us makin choice new friends w each other
ROXY: oh well here goes
ROXY: all twiddlin my fingers and such
ROXY: busting out tha MAJYYXXX! prayin up a storm to the holy wizardchrist they aint fake...
ROXY: alright check it
ROXY: one jank ass space egg coming up
ROXY: ABRACA HAPPEN!
ROXY: this is not a space egg
JADE: no, its not
ROXY: balls
ROXY: guess i effed up my void spell
ROXY: what is this thing
JADE: thats a perfectly generic object
ROXY: its perfectly generic?
JADE: yes
ROXY: dunno about that
ROXY: looks like a green cube to me
ROXY: with like
ROXY: slightly beveled corners
JADE: thats what a perfectly generic object is
ROXY: couldnt something theoretically be more generic than this
JADE: how
ROXY: um
ROXY: i dunno
JADE: exactly
ROXY: :\
JADE: if you want your powers to reach their full potential youre going to need to become more familiar with the fundamental building blocks of ideas and how they translate into more complicated thoughts and forms
JADE: then it becomes a simple matter of using your abilities to snatch those concepts from unreality
ROXY: sounds too hard
ROXY: better start killing me repeatedly and get it over with
JADE: we both know you dont think its too hard, you think it sounds like an interesting challenge
ROXY: dammit!
ROXY: (fucken jakes wily bitch ass grandma)
JADE: this is a very good start though
JADE: with a little practice im sure our empress will have her orb in no time
ROXY: well at least i know i can make a whole lot of these boring cubes if all else fails
ROXY: hey maybe ill build a sick fort outta them
ROXY: hehehe jade tell me that wouldnt be so baller
JADE: it would be fairly baller
ROXY: fyeah
JADE: keep trying for that orb though
JADE: i will return in a while to review your progress
JADE: and remember, dont get any funny ideas
ROXY: but p much all my ideas are funny
JADE: i mean dont try to escape!
JADE: even if you are invisible i will be able to track you down instantly
JADE: my sense of smell is very good
JADE: now if youll excuse me i have some business to attend to
ROXY: what business
JADE: i am still trying to locate my brother
JADE: but im having trouble picking up his scent
JADE: hes using his windy powers to obscure the trail and its giving me fits
ROXY: windy powers eh
ROXY: who is your bro?
JADE: woof!!!
JADE: i mean shoosh :x
JADE: that is enough questions from you
JADE: now i believe you have a space egg to conjure
ROXY: (mumble mumble egg mumble shove it grumble)
JADE: what?
ROXY: (mumble mutter my fat ass)
JADE: farewell roxy
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Live 2020 debate commentary from a salty, disabled, and VERY pissed gen Z
 Yall he just said he’s immune
My dad just left the room
Bitch are u saying Johnson and Johnson is going to make the vaccine?
sir that’s the diaper company…..smh
Biden just said its going to be a dark winter
#winter is coming
“virus.....that came from china” -trump 2020
“were learning to live with it”-trump 2020
apparently “Biden lives in his basement”-your president 2020
totally accurate.....obviously
ohhhh biden just said were learning to die with it
trump interrupted biden
Mam I thought you said you were muting them?
biden laugh count at 3
he all about the once percent till its the dead ones
trump interrupting at 3...nvm its now 4
this debate is making my dog sad
interrupting now at 5 for trump
trump saying his young sons illness just “went away”
bitch he’s may age and no it did not just “go away”
he was in quarantine for two weeks
apparently nyc is a ghost town 
its not a ghost town trump I live right next to it
loudest neighbors ever
trump don’t call him Anthony
his name is DOCTOR Fauci
treat him with the respect he deserves
Biden looks so sad
nvm he legit looks like the joker right now
HALFWAY MARKKK
why is this at 9?
sir its a school night
I need time to scroll through my feed for hours before collapsing
Biden don’t use the word sovereignty
trump doesn't know what it means
thats discrimination against trumps
ohhh hes attacking hunter (biden) again
so he has a wee drug problem?
at this point everyone got one!
your the one making lewd comments about your infant daughter on national tv
(look it up he talks about his 6 month old daughters legs but and breasts)
get him big b!!
h876689908776- my dog 2020
he wants to express his disappointment
the light boxs is stealing his mother attention
ohh hes being rude to the moderator again
u a strong independent Indian woman get him girll!
mute his mike
prty plz
I am dissapionted in you
he’s saying he’s not allowed to release his taxs
(that is a proven lie)
“i was put through a phony witch hunt”- you'll never guess 2020
hes going after his BROTHER now
how is this allowed?
who decided trumps strategy would be to accuse his opponent of his own crimes?
look at the insults guys its a crystal ball
stay ahead of the scandal's
WILL YOU LEAVE HIS SON ALONE PLEASE
THESE ARE HIS CHILDREN LEAVE THEM ALONE
“i was a business man doing business”-trump 2020
no sir you were another rich white guy taking advantage of tax brakes and cheap foreign labor in asia
#american jobs as long as i don’t have to pay minimum wage
#you know like a DECENT FUCKING PERSON
Trump interrupted again
I lost count a while ago
Biden is staring into my soul
oh Biden just played the middle class childhood card
I haven't heard a single mute so far?
trump just said his bromance with kim jung un saved america from nuclear war
dont through my boy Obama under the bus
and another interruption
my big bro just screamed “MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON”
honestly same
10 more min guys
hang in there
OHHH trump just got MUTEDDDDDD
Biden is now on legitimate policy 
ahhh hes proud of his plan
Tumblr media
annd trump just interrupted
trump just kissed up to the moderator
trump just said biden’s more liberal than bernie
ohhh
biden just said trump dosent know who hes running against
hes like “this is joe biden”
like I know bro but slick burn anyway
ohhh they muted trump again!!!!
perfect opportunity to mute missed
trump just blamed healthcare issues on nancy peloski
biden says the the republicans wont pass it
(btw hes actualy right)
2 mins left
and trump is speaking through it
1 min left
omg what a waste of air
I really want him to test his “immunity”
preferably during a harsh winter
ITS TEN GUYSSS
there running over
they still haven't covered immigration
shit
I have just learned there is 30 min left
I think I would rather kill myself than watch the rest of this
I’m seriously have a sensory overload right now
I’m doing this for u
“children are brought here by coyotes”-presedentail cown 2020
what a wack ass sentence
hes like ohIi haven't been putting kids in cages
and then just went but I didn't build them they were built in 2014
(contradiction much)
“who built the cages”
“who built the cages”
“who built the cages”
yes it was Obama but guess what
THEY WERNT BUILT FOR KIDS
there ment to house animals, evidence, and adult prisoners in emergency situations
THEY WERNT MENT FOR 3 YEAR OLDS
Biden was just like “well no actually kids come with PARENTS”
(kids hardly ever come over with out parents)
and then he was like and also WHO LOST TRACK OF OVER 1,000 PARENTS
(thats 500+ new orphans at the least)
hes saying only the illegal immigrants with the lowest IQs come back after being deported
we said the same thing in december about you but ya’know
my mum was like “anyone eating chocolate” and I was like “im snaking on this ignorance” and she was like “dont do that you'll get indigestion”
“no one has done more for the black community then Donald trump except for maybe Abraham Lincoln”
oh yeah Biden just brought up how trump publicly campaigned for the execution of the central park 5
WHO WERE CHILDREN
AND OH YEAH THEY WERE COMPLETELY INNOCENT
trump just yelled at Biden, got muted, and just yelled louder
trump just said he cant see the audience but hes the least racist person in the room
“Abraham lincoln here is one of the most racist presidents in american history”- biden 2020
biden just went “oh god”
he just said that he used to not support the blm movement because they chanted rude things about police officers
I would like to reiterate that “pigs in a blanket” has never been chanted in a protest or been a prominent statement in the blm movement nor “fry em like bacon” so what trump is saying is factually incorrect
unless hes on some sort of far right conservative twitter feed were he came across a video of some drunk white college kids chanting it 
but you know what ever fits you narrative
plus I would be pretty pissed if I kept getting shot at for no reason so....
Biden making more logical decisions
trump was like why have you never done all this stuff when you were vice president
“we had a republican congress” -biden 2020
we have the cleanest air
we have the cleanest crystal clear water
sir, i know you've been to mexico
don’t lie
the waters gorges down there
and not owned by your smug ass
trump just called china filthy
so you know....
*whispers* racism
ok 5 min left
for real this time
trump just went “aoc plus 3: and then hes like she knows nothing about the climate
ummm.... you dont even believe in climate change
bidens like “are....is...is is”
good for you
correcting your grammar
trump just said “the wind kills all the birds” out of the godamn blue
(he means wind mills and its untrue)
“Whats the next question baba”
“the final question is leadership which he doesnt have”- baba 2020
I feel bad for anybody watching this on the toilet
bidens starring into your soul
he knows what your doing
there officially overtime
its 10 33
they haven't even done the last section yet
btw ITS A SCHOOL NIGHT
why do they host these so late
I should be pretending to be asleep right now
this is generational discrimination
plus trumps supporters are so old there asleep by now
ohhhh its over
1036 final time
okay so thoughts....I generally dont like the party system i think its ridiculous the system was not designed for it, and its now more about loyalty then the actual candidates. I also am really hesitant to put another strait white male in the oval office, especially one thats from “the lucky few” I.E. the smallest voting generation in the country and also the one that already holds the most positions. That being said, at this point its really anyone but trump and I think bidens got the experience to turn things around. 
I AM IN SCHOOL I CANNOT VOTE. I am relying on all my older friends, followers, neighbors, and community members. To make an educated decision that wont further degrade the once hopeful future my generation awaits. Please if you can vote VOTE the kids are relying on you!
P.S. sorry i wasn't able to edit this earlier i struggle alot with spelling and didnt have the time to edit this because I HAD TO GO TO BED AND THEN GO TO SCHOOL. Why am I more politically active then people twice my age you might ask? Well, thats because adults are lazy and need to get of their gd asses and VOTE. So kids dont have to do the legwork for them. 
I have said my peace now, have a wonderful day!
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